Do I Have The Strength?

"There is no organization there, just strength of will and purpose. If you know what you want to do, and who you are, it’s easy not to be distracted by your own bullshit. If you have illusions about who you are–that is an inflated sense of it–and are, deep down, averse to hard work, it’s impossible to not be distracted by it. Your fear of failure and your creeping awareness that you are a fraud makes it a certainty–a necessity even–that you detour just enough to prevent ever facing a legitimate opportunity to fail. If you fail, the entire edifice collapses."
-Ryan Hoiday

I worry sometimes that this is me: an inflated sense of who I am and a deep aversion to hard work.  

Yes, ActionReactor has come far, and is actually a usable (if confusing) product by a guy who doesn't know a thing about programming, and didn't know a thing about creating a webapp before I started.

Yes, I moved across the country with only a thousand dollars and the knowledge that I would find a way to make it work... and did.

Yes, I've co-created the Junto, a group of men dedicated to bettering themselves...

But doesn't all this seem like a distraction from actually taking action?  From getting my first customer and doing something with ActionReactor? From starting a million dollar company and changing peoples lives?  I look back on where I was five years ago and think two things:

1.  I'm way farther than anyone else looking at where I was would have expected me to be at this point.
2. I'm way behind where my five years ago self expected me to be.

Back then I expected myself to be perfect... but my biggest fear is that, as Anthony would say... I'm not even ideal. That I'm not even close to what I should(not could) be achieving at this point in my life.

When I look at people my age (excluding my close friends, such as the guys in The Junto), it amazes me that they're NOT at this point.  But I look at me, and it amazes me that I'm STILL at this point. That the amount of people whose lives I've changed is still below 100, that my bank account is still below 10,000.

I know I can do better.