Strength of Purpose and Trial by Fire

I have found over and over again in my life that this is the true way to growth.

The thing about trial by fire is that you can't have a safety net. You can have a backup plan sure, but you must have a real chance of failure that no one will shield you from and is a very real possiblity.

The thing about strength of purpose is that you can't fake it. You can strengthen it, but that's for another post.

In college I had a safety net and no strength of purpose. I was destined to fail, but have only myself to blame for the failure.
After college, as several times in my life, I fell into the trap, as I have many times in my life, of feeling that I needed to grow before I could act. Strength of purpose, but no trial by fire.

This again, was doomed to failure. The mind, like the body, will only grow when it needs tol. You can't prepare yourself to face a challenge by not challenging youself.
Then came regal. It may be hard for many to see how a low skilled minimum wage job could fulfill the requirements of either strength of purpose or trial by fire. I can only assume that these people have never been in the position where they are dependent on others for the most basic necessities, nor had to deal with the unique challenges that ADD presents.

After that was City Year. It's true, that I would never have been prepared for the strength of prupose or trials I would face if I had not first endured Regal. And it was my failures there that led me to avoid making the same mistakes... by putting myself in situations where I couldn't help but make them, and grow from them. If it's true that Trial by Fire and Strength of Purpose are the vehicles for growth, it's also true that the road to growth is folliwng your fears and chasing your failures.
So now here I am, at the next stage in my life. The strength of purpose, stronger than ever before, but the trials too. The problem being that I don't feel the strain yet. only the ease of being doing what I'm supposed to be doing , accomplishing what needs to be done, and achieving what I want in my life. Sure, there were failures from City Year, and I still chase those... but they seem easier to overcome than experience dictates they should be.

Maybe it's just that I haven't fully hit my stride yet of challenges in my current path. Or maybe I've found a new sweet spot of effotless growth. Or perhaps, I'm simply not challenging myself, and I am in a period of stagnation. Whatever the case may be, I find more of myself every day. My confidence grows, even as I should feel out of my league.